The Ghost Molester

THE owner of an English-themed pub in Phoenix says the ghosts are to blame for strange events, including glasses being thrown, beer bottles exploding, and women being groped.

I just found a new excuse so I don't have to come from around the bar and toss someone out because a girl complained. It was the ghost, darlin'. He gets a little touchy-feely after your second red headed slut shot. He would behave if you would just do a real shot. Whiskey or burbon.