When Baboons Go Bad

Rampant and sexist, brazen baboons swing into town

“I tried to get rid of them, but they were having a party, eating all my
bread, bananas and avocados and swigging bottles of wine they had taken out of
the refrigerator,” said Carol White, who runs the Camel Rock restaurant in the
quiet village of Scarborough near Cape Point, South Africa, at the very tip of
the continent.

“They ignore women completely and only cleared off when one of my male
staff came,” she added.

Sounds like Giants fans.

Over the past few months, the baboons have burgled houses, sometimes
by pushing their babies through security bars and getting them to open a window latch. They have also raided the only store in the town and
have intimidated inhabitants, particularly women. A few weeks ago they
fought a pitched battle with a group of pet dogs — most of which came off worse
— further terrifying residents.

They're teaching their kids!

Sounds like Jets fans.

— Chippy, a male chimpanzee, pictured, was exposed in 2001 as the perpetrator of
heavy-breathing phone calls after staff at Blair Drummond Safari Park, in
Stirlingshire, recognised his shriek. He had stolen a keeper’s phone and learnt
to operate the redial button.

Ok, that sounds like me.