Screech Attack!

Screech does stand up. After a show in Omaha, Nebraska, he went back to his hotel room.

There's a girl there waiting for him.

Oh the life of a star on the road. The fans! The wome.... wait... this is Screech, right?

True story... but it seems she was just stealing his video games.

From IMDB.com:
Former Saved By The Bell star Dustin Diamond has accused a woman of attacking him in an Omaha, Nebraska hotel room last week. Diamond, who played school geek Screech in the nineties teen show, claims a 28-year-old women broke into his room in the early hours of Monday morning, a few hours after his stand-up gig at the Funny Bone Comedy Club. Diamond, 29, told a Florida radio station that the woman stole some video games, before he held her against the hotel door until police arrived on the scene. Omaha police sergeant Teresa Negron said no charges were filed because the woman contradicts Diamond's claim, by saying he assaulted her. Negron says, "It's a case of 'he said, she said'."


I bet she took Screech's Atari 2600 and he'll be dammned if anyone is going to take his Pitfall!

But, I think Screech missed a golden opportuntity to claim he pulled this movie line when he opened his room's door:

Les jeux sont faites. Translation. The game is up. Your ass is mine.