Thursday, November 30, 2006

Don't Answer The Door!

When I was growing up, we'd get the Jehovas Witnesses in our neighborhood, ringing our doorbells, knocking on our doors, trying to save our souls.

But little did they know - we had a system! My family and our neighbors worked as one! Whoever was unfortunate enough to get the idiots at their front door first, would immediately tell them to "Shoo!", then make the call to the next neighbor, who would in turn call the next neighbor, and so on.

Therefore every once in a while I'd hear, "Boys! Don't answer the door!"

As I got older, I relished in the moments when I would answer the door and get these simpletons with my confession that I worship the devil and do they have any spare children, my altar is looking barren.

Last year, I answered my door to find two well dressed, nice looking people who asked me if I was aware of Hurricane Katrina, only a couple weeks after the face.

Yea, I heard of it.

Well did you know it was foretold in the bible?

Oh for pete's sake or some other salty language I detested. But before I shooed them I asked "Jehova Witnesses?"

They looked at me like I just kicked their grandmother in the head.

"Good lord no, we're from the Church of Latter Day Saints!"

Mormons. Even crazier.

Suffice to say I got a kick out of their insult that I might mistake them for some other brainwashed folk, but what I subconsciously wanted to do, but I didn't know it until I watched this following video, was do what this brilliant bloke from Australia did.

John Safran, you are my new hero. I bet you could even wrestle a killer whale.

Australian filmmaker John Safran is so fed up with mormons ringing his doorbell early in the morning that he flies to Salt Lake City Utah and tries to convert Mormons to atheism. Needless to say, the locals were not pleased.

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