Thursday, June 28, 2007

This Summer's Must See Film Starring The Greatest Actresses Of Our Time

In Theaters Tomorrow.

Hey-a, Who Is It?

Plastic Duck Armada!

How cool is this?

For the past 15 years Curtis Ebbesmeyer has been tracking nearly 30,000 plastic bath toys that were released into the Pacific Ocean when a container was washed off a cargo ship.

Some of the ducks, known as Friendly Floatees, are expected to reach Britain after a journey of nearly 17,000 miles, having crossed the Arctic Ocean frozen into pack ice, bobbed the length of Greenland and been carried down the eastern seaboard of the United States.

All I ever find is jellyfish and dead horseshoe crabs. I want to find me a Friendly Floatee!

And maybe a response from all the message in a bottles I threw out there.

Good Cop, Baby Cop

Good Cop, Baby Cop

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Good Luck and Cheers, Mr. Brown

I don't envy anyone who has to say sooner than later, "Patch me through to President Bush."

Have a bottle of asprin nearby.

Live Free Or Die Hard


I had posted about how worried I was... with the comic sidekick... the PG-13 rating. But the reviews are coming in and they're great!

Ahhh... I knew it all along!

Freedy Johnson - Bad Reputation

Tuesday, June 26, 2007


The Warning Signs Were There

That's what someone will say generations from now. Whether that someone will be a Borg like entity inhabting this planet or it will be someone hiding out on an apocalyptic wasteland trying to find his next meal while avoiding machine patrols... remains to be seen.

But, NASA just announced a partnership with the M2Mi Corporation to develop intelligent machines that will be able to "mind meld" with each other, make intelligent choices, and communicate with each other, all without human intervention.

And so it begins...

Falling Standards

Remember when all crop circles were works of art, visions of beauty?

Now, these days... these aliens have gotten into to bad stuff. The hooch. The meth. The ya-yo.

Driver comes a cropper in police chase

Monday, June 25, 2007

Friday, June 22, 2007

Do You Know These People?

You know, the ones that are in town for a convention. They have those HI MY NAME IS stickers on their shirts. They stand around in pods of 4 or 5 and there is a lot of smiling and too much nodding and an uncomfortable amount of eyes darting back and forth to meet each other's eye. There is the hand on the shoulder or hand on the forearm move when one makes a point or something they think is a really strong suggestion that in their mind is brilliant. And they're all dressed casually. But they usually wear suits so they all look like their wearing clothes made out of cactus and polyester even though they are supposed to be casual. And there is promises of calls, emails, lunches and even the random dinner, in which everyone knows will never happen but they feel an obligation to offer anyway?

I hate those assholes.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Sex Game Gone Wrong

I don't even want to know what game this is.

Bit of a lock up
A Kent man had to be freed by firemen after getting his penis stuck in a padlock.

The man, in his 50s, turned up at his local fire station in Margate after a sex game went wrong.
He was sent off to hospital, but medics could do nothing. So he returned to the fire station.

The key hole had been superglued so firemen had to use hydraulic cutters to release him.

He was eventually freed after two-and-a-half eye-watering hours.

A pal told The Sun: "God knows what he was up to - but he won't be trying it again in a hurry."

N.J. mystery creature has fangs and fins

Most likely a Wolf Eel. But it's saltwater. And found 50 miles from the ocean.

Obviously there is only one explanation. They've learned how to fly.

What I Did Yesterday

Yesterday I spent some time taking up space at a bar, eating the peanuts, using the bathroom, wearing sunglasses inside and leering at women without spending a few bucks.


Thursday, June 14, 2007

Everybody Wang Tao Tonight

With more than a billion people now sharing just 100 surnames, Chinese authorities are considering a landmark move to try to end the confusion.

For instance, a father named Zhou and mother named Zhu could choose to call their child either Zhou, Zhu, Zhouzhu or Zhuzhou, the report added.

Oh, that's much easier.

Doesn't matter. In about 100 years, we'll all be named Wang or Chen.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Ah Crap, It Was The Pope

Bad Ass

Vasari recounts a number of such stories about Giotto's skill. He writes that when Cimabue was absent from the workshop, his young apprentice painted such a lifelike fly on the face of the painting that Cimabue was working on, that he tried several times to brush it off. Vasari also relates that when the Pope sent a messenger to Giotto, asking him to send a drawing to demonstrate his skill, Giotto drew a perfect circle in red paint and instructed the messenger to give that to the Pope.

And here I thought it was the king.

Giotto di Bondone

Ever Want To Go Back And Kick Your Own Ass?

Hell yea.

And we've got people working on that.

Public donates to UW scientist to fund backward-in-time research

In Italy, Ninja Robs You!

Leave the nunchucks. Take the cannolis.

Behold The Old Whale

19th-century weapon found in whale

A 50-ton bowhead whale caught off the Alaskan coast last month had a weapon fragment embedded in its neck that showed it survived a similar hunt — more than a century ago.

Over a hundred years later and its luck runs out.


Is Your Fridgehenge Running?

Made from over 100 old refrigerators, Fridgehenge was put together at a location near near Santa Fe, New Mexico, 10 years ago by artist Adam Horowitz. Recent high winds toppled many of the units, and the rest was finally removed last month by city officials who regarded it as a safety hazard.

Little known fact, The Beastie Boys' Paul's Boutique was originally names Paul's Refrigerator.

Fridgehenge was Punky Brewster's personal hell.

Thursday, June 07, 2007


I'm sorry, it's wrong, but this might be the funniest story. Ever.


I know what happened.

You've all seen Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer, right?

Well, in truth, they never made it to the Land Of Misfit Toys on that iceberg.

They floated around for a long time before Hermey cut Rudolph's throat while he slept.

Hermey had to eat.

Soon, Hermey had nothing to eat.

And there, my friends, is the last of Hermey.

Let's remember fonder times:

We're friends forever!

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

We're Gonna Die Hard

This video and song is so awesome I'm singing it at the "Broadway Sings!" event at Shubert Alley today.

I may be kicked off stage, but I'll fight every light-loaferd usher until I get that first verse out!!!

*Note - watch your volume. NSFW lyrics.

Friday, June 01, 2007