The Devil's Bible

Return of Devil's Bible to Prague draws crowds

The devil has a bible!? Well let's see that bad boy! I mean, the regular bible is full of death, sex, adultery, murder, kidnapping, punishment, etc., etc. Imagine the all extra helping of bullshit the devil's must have! Get it published! It would look great next to my Book Of The Dead.

Suck It Jesus!

"A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus," an exultant Griffin said, holding up her statuette. "Suck it, Jesus. This award is my god now."

Now I don't recall the last time Kathy Griffith made me laugh, but I support her right to say it.

Considering the arrogance of anyone who thanks a god in a competition when there are losers suggests that a god picked one over the other, I applaud Kathy Griffith for pointing out the absurdity.

She's probably going to get censored on the Emmy's for saying that.

People Against Censorship

And if you're insulted? If you want her fired? If you want her never to perform again?

Well then you are no different than the maniacs who kill because someone said something bad or drew a picture of Allah. NO DIFFERENT.

So suck it jesus, suck it hard.

Superstitious Air

Nepal's state-run airline has confirmed that it sacrificed two goats to appease a Hindu god, following technical problems with one of its aircraft.

I'd like to visit Nepal, but I'll take the bus, thank you.

Reading Time!

Every week I go to a meeting! And I'm handed an 8 page book! And the person who spent the last 2 days making that book reads it to me! Word for word!

I'm so lucky! I don't have to read, I just have to listen! I pay so much attention! Yay!

Alright you corporate time wasters, if we're gonna keep this up, I'd like to make a few suggestions.

Beanbag chairs. I mean, if we gonna squeeze 15 people in a closet we might as well have some beanbag chairs to make it more comfortable. The radiator just isn't the level of luxury it seems to be.

Cookies. On little plastic end tables.

And some juice boxes. Fruit, orange and even get some milk to starve off that osteoporosis I see in so many's future.

A toy chest in the corner, in case I tire of doodling, I can at least play construction worker with some playschool cars and orange cones.

The alphabet stenciled around the room. Capital and small letters, dammit. In cursive!

Some construction paper, various colors and some scissors, the plastic kind, not too sharp.

And finally, can I sit next to the cute girl with pigtails? Because I want to pull on them every once in a while because I like her but don't want her to know so I'll just annoy her.

Because if I'm going to be read to like a kid, then I want to be treated like a kid.