I Got By On My Looks My Whole Life Until...

This moment.

Even if you've seen it, watch this clip until the end.



Oh Miss Carolina. Nothing could be finer than to see you in the diner reading a book.

I Needed To Go Away

Star Jones: 'I needed to go away for a bit'

Oops. I see an error. Allow me to edit.

Star Jones: 'I needed to go away forever'.

Other people that need to go away forever:

And anyone reading PEOPLE, US, OK, and all the other tabloid rags.

IT'S YOUR FAULT.

I Think I've Been Had

I'm looking at my alcohol monitoring bracelet.

I think it's full of crap. Plus, I know I'm smarter than Long Island white trash.

First round is on me!