This Will Not End Well

Monkey’s Thoughts Propel Robot

...the 12-pound, 32-inch monkey made a robot walk using only her brain
activity.

She was in North Carolina, and the robot was in Japan.

Let me explain what is happening this way:

North Carolina

Japan

Right now, as you read this, Tokyo is being destroyed by a monkey that's tired of having wires and tubes sticking out of it's body and ass all day.

Magic Monkey Tree

The discovery of two "monkey heads" poking out of the bark of an otherwise non-descript African Mahogany tree have sparked a minor craze in the southeast Asian state, as devotees seek numbers from what they believe to be a god living in the tree.

OK, that is TOTALLY the monkey doll I had as a kid.

Right?! There he is!

In a tree.

Anyway, I came across this story on my new favorite website, Monkeys In The News.

All monkey, all the time. How cool is that?

More Odd Animal Pairing

Baboon adopts a chicken at Lithuanian zoo

"He plays with the chicken, cleans its feathers, sleeps with it, and takes
care as if it was his own baby child," the zoo director said.

"But I am not sure how long this affair would last, because baboon may
finally realise this is food."

So who will be eaten first? The Baboon's chicken or the Monkey's dove?

Dove At First Sight

It's a tale straight out of Disney – an abandoned baby monkey, close to
death, is revived by the love of a bird.

The 12-week-old macaque was rescued on Neilingding Island, in Goangdong
Province, China, after being abandoned by his mother.

Taken to an animal hospital, he was weaned back to physical health but
still showed little appetite for life.

It was not until a fellow patient, a white pigeon, took him under her
wing and showed him love and affection that he perked up.

Now the two are inseparable, say staff.

They are not the first odd couple. In March, we told how a tiger cub in
China was being raised by a sow along with her piglets because his mother didn't
know how to feed him.

And in 2005 Mi-Lu the baby deer became best friends with lurcher
Geoffrey at the Knowsley Animal Park, in Merseyside, after being rejected by her
mother.

Awww... so nice. Until the monkey eats the bird.

There was trouble at the lab with the running and the exploding and the crying when the monkeys stole the glasses off my head

Monkey steals tourist's glasses in India

Oh that monkey is going to pay.

Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back In The Jungle

Found: the giant lion-eating chimps of the magic forest

Deep in the Congolese jungle is a band of apes that, according to local legend, kill lions, catch fish and even howl at the moon. Local hunters speak of massive creatures that seem to be some sort of hybrid between a chimp and a gorilla.

Let's hope they can stay there and the mid-sized meat eating men of the city leave them alone.

But still, this proves my theory. Hybrids are dangerous. And this hybrid seems to be even more dangerous than the alien-human hybrid. Yes, it's a theory.