The Terrifying Toothpick Fish

Your cringe story of the day.

The vast freshwater ecosystem of the Amazon River is home to abundant animal life, and many of its species thrive by virtue of their ferocity. If one were to ask the locals which of the river's indigenous species is the most treacherous, a few might describe the roaming packs of carnivorous piranhas, or the massive anaconda snakes; but based on the general sentiment of the region, the most frequently uttered response would be "candirú."

The tiny hunter shadows its prey, almost invisible due to its translucent body and small size. When the target fish exhales, the candirú detects the resulting flow of water and makes a dash for the exposed gill cavity with remarkable speed. Within less than a second it penetrates the gill and wriggles its way into place, erecting an umbrella-like array of spines to secure its position.

Oh my golly.

Dirty Money

Is your money safe?

It will be now!

The "Brief Safe" is an innovative diversion safe that can secure your cash, documents, and other small valuables from inquisitive eyes and thieving hands, both at home and when you're traveling.

Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band

The man is 61. His band is probably all around the same.

And they still rock.

I went and saw them last night at Madison Square Garden. I was on the younger side of the crowd, which was mostly 40+. Couples, couples with other couples, and roving gangs of older men who are ecstatic to get out of the house and enjoy some music and beers with their friends.

And they were still dancing in their seats and isles. Smoking the weed too! Which for MSG, I was surprised it was let go to such an extent.

And Bob was running around like Mick Jagger on stage. Likes to pump his fist a lot, which I found kind of annoying by the 5th song, but eventually the energy on the stage overcame any cheesy rock star posing.

Great show. Glad I got to see him. No one else wanted to go so I got a single ticket - jackpot! I got close to the stage and a isle seat to boot. $7 a beer is expensive, but it was worth it.

Bob Seger's Greatest Hits was one of the cassette tapes I wore out when I was a kid.

He's still on tour, if you are a fan, I suggest you go. But then again I don't have to tell you that.

Places Not To Start Having An Affair

1. The workplace.

2. Your local sky diving club.

Skydiver charged with murder after love rival fell 13,000ft to her death

The Cloud People Of Peru

Massive, Ancient Building Discovered In The Andes

I love that there are still places to discover on our planet. And yet again, another massive structure that baffles archaeologists.

There is another place associated with The Cloud People, called Kuelap.

The mysterious super fortress of the Chachapoyan Cloud People

This is news to me! When I visit Peru, I was going to see Macchu Pichu. Now I have two places to see! Looks like I'll have to start putting in some extra hours.

FREAKY Fish!

Wowze Wow Wow Imagine seeing this thing!?!? That is something out of a horror movie.

Rare primitive shark captured on film

Watch it swim around and eat children, here.

Ok, it's not eating children.... but it would!!

For 50 Years She Sat In The Ground

Will she run?

Tulsa to dig up car buried for 50 years

My guess - Rust never sleeps. It's junk.

Banana Over Texas

I don't know what to make of this.

It's an elaborate website for a joke. Then again, maybe it isn't.

Geostationary Banana Over Texas

Do You Sniff Your Gum?

The guy at 0:12 seconds into this commerical does.

He loves his gum!

Cheap, Safe Drug Kills Most Cancers

It sounds almost too good to be true: a cheap and simple drug that kills almost all cancers by switching off their “immortality”. The drug, dichloroacetate (DCA), has already been used for years to treat rare metabolic disorders and so is known to be relatively safe.

Well let's get on it!

I'm curious to see if this will show up in the national news.

Because this is pretty big f'n news.

The next step is to run clinical trials of DCA in people with cancer. These may have to be funded by charities, universities and governments: pharmaceutical companies are unlikely to pay because they can’t make money on unpatented medicines. The pay-off is that if DCA does work, it will be easy to manufacture and dirt cheap.

Shocker.

Hey, Bill Gates or some other billionaire who has too much money, little help?!

UFO: Underwater Flying Objects

Sailors, fishermen, dockworkers, police officers, coastal residents and others have reported eerie otherworldly ships emerging from and submerging into local waters.

Well, duh.

Didn't you see The Abyss?

But the article does mention The Battle Of Los Angeles, which is a cool story that you didn't learn in history class.

That's a real picture. Spotlights and antiaircraft firing at something over Los Angeles in February, 1942.

The California State Military Museum will tell you all about it.

The Savior Has Returned!

That's the only explaination.

So welcome your fuzzy lord, Monkey Jesus.

In a mysterious bit of monkey business, a female at a chimpanzee sanctuary has given birth, despite the fact that the facility's entire male chimp population has had vasectomies.

Save The Slender Loris!

The what?

A conservation effort announced today aims to protect some of the world's oddest and most overlooked animal species.

Yangtze River dolphin (which I wrote about here)
Long-beaked echidna
Hispaniolan solenodon
Bactrian camel
Pygmy hippopotamus
Hirola
Golden-rumped elephant shrew
Bumblebee bat
Long-eared jerboa

And of course...

Slender loris :

How cool is he?

So if you see any of these animals, please give them the right of way or your seat on the bus.

Thank you.

AND Does Toilets?

Escaped Chimp Gets Snack, Cleans Bathroom

That's no chimp. That's an angel sent from heaven.

Endangered Redheads

If predictions by the Oxford Hair Foundation come to pass, the number of natural redheads everywhere will continue to dwindle until there are none left by the year 2100.

Too bad. I like redheads.

Therefore, in order to save the species, I volunteer myself to all single child bearing redheads!

Let's do it! Let's do it for our survival!

The Day The Music Mysterously Died

I know this story, but being as I am far removed from the actual date it happend, I never heard the little detail that a gun was on board the plane. Should have interesting results.

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KNOXVILLE, Tenn. (AP) - The son of "The Big Bopper" has hired a forensic anthropologist to try to answer questions about how his father died in the 1959 plane crash that also took the lives of famous early rock 'n' rollers Buddy Holly and Ritchie Valens.

Jay Richardson, who performs tribute shows as "The Big Bopper Jr.," hopes an examination of his father's remains will settle rumors a gun might have been fired on board the plane, and tell whether the Big Bopper might have survived the crash impact and died trying to go for help.
"I'm not looking for any great bombshell, but then again you never know," Richardson said in a recent phone interview from his home outside Houston.

J.P "The Big Bopper" Richardson is buried in Beaumont, Texas. After his remains are studied they will be reburied and a life-sized statue put up aside the grave.

The rock 'n' roll stars died on Feb. 3, 1959, when their four-passenger plane crashed after taking off from the Mason City, Iowa, airport - a tragedy memorialized as "the day the music died" in Don McLean's song "American Pie."

Following a concert in Clear Lake, Iowa, Waylon Jennings, a member of Holly's band, gave up his seat on the plane to Richardson, who was feeling ill and seeking a shorter trip to the next stop.
An autopsy was performed on the pilot's body, but not on the others.

Dr. Bill Bass, founder of the research facility at the University of Tennessee nicknamed the Body Farm, plans to study the remains in March. He's an expert in determining identities and causes of death.

One of the most famous cases Bass worked on was confirming the identity of the Lindbergh baby who was kidnapped in 1932 and murdered.

In its accident report, the Civil Aeronautics Board said pilot error was the cause of the crash. The report didn't mention a gun belonging to Holly that was found by a farmer two months after the crash.

Newspaper accounts of the gun discovery fueled rumors among fans that the pilot was somehow shot, causing the crash. The owner of the flying service added to the conspiracy theory by insisting his pilot was not at fault, saying the pilot must have been "incapacitated."

No one has ever proved a gun was fired during the flight.
X-rays of the bones should be able to show if the Bopper was hit by a bullet because the lead in the bullet would leave debris.

Another curious finding at the crash was that Richardson's body was discovered nearly 40 feet away from the wreckage, while the others were found in or near the plane.

Bass said examining the bones could determine whether the Bopper could have moved himself from the wreckage or if he was thrown by the force of the crash.

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There is one other thing that suprised me was that the forensic expert work on the Lindbergh baby case. IN 1932!!!!!

That was 75 years ago. I don't know how old you have to be to get your forensic license, but let's say back then it was at least 20. This guy has got to be around 95 years old.

They'll open the coffin and he'll scream "Oh no! It's ME! How ca.... oh wait. Never mind."

C.H.U.D!

Bodies of four found in manholes.

I think I know what happened:

Fade in: Night: Police cruisers scattered on the road. Lights of red and blue flash out of synch.

An red unmarked sedan pulls up, slows down and a police officer raises the yellow tape with his arm in order for it to go through.

Scene: two body bags being zipped up. In the distance about twenty feet across the wet, smoking cement is a manhole. Its cover lies next to it.

The red sedan stops and a man gets out. A bit disheveled, unshaven, with a long dark blue trenchcoat. A cigarrette moves from his mouth to his side.

A young police officer hurrieds up. He's out of breath. Pale.

Young officer: "Detective... it's uh.... uhh.. it's bad sir."

Detective: "What's bad, son?"

Officer: "We found two me... two more men... in the manhole over there. Old Man Rivers came across the smell and alerted us. It looks like they've been in there for some time."

The young officer coughs and wipes his mouth.

Dectective: "Manhole. In the manhole."

He looks towards the manhole.

Dectective: "I've seen this before. My gods, don't let them be back."

Officer: "Them? Who them?"

*cue scary music as camera rolls along the cement towards the hole, then dives into the darkness*

Spontaneous Cellbustion

Of your cell phone!!!

A cell phone in the front pocket of a Vallejo man's pants spontaneously combusted, quickly ignited his clothes and left the man with second- and third-degree burns across at least half his body.

So... all of you out there with the cell phone, good luck!!

Liar, Liar, Shots On Fire!

So Paula Abdul goes on the Tonight Show to explain her behavior.

So here is what happened: (From IMDB.com)

"I did a big week of press all last week in New York, and, on the third day, I did one of those press junkets, where you're in that one little room and you're looking at one camera and there are 30 cities talking into your ear. I guess Alabama was in my ear and so was Seattle at the same time. So I'm answering questions to the wrong answers of the cities. So they're going, 'What the heck... what is she saying?'" The singer laughed off the incidents adding, "(It was) not my fault! I was having fun. I answered the right questions in one of the cities!"

Oh. So you were talking to two cities at the same time. That is standard procedure for a press junket?

Lush, it's not that you were answering the question incorrectly - it's HOW you were answering them. Correctly, but smashed off your 80's ass.

And Jay Leno - you suck. You should have played the clip and called her out on it.

Paula Abdul, Straight Up, Now Tell Me...

You got next round!

How many drinks did you have for breakfest?!

When bartending, I see people who are drunk, all the time, who are trying to hold it together for a conversation.

This is a perfect example.

She is trAAAAAAAAssshed!

I love it.